In and Out of Heaven
by AngelLija
Summary: my first story ever. posted here for the first time ever. After a fight with Jason, Sam lashes out and tries suicide. The experiance makes her connect with the one person she has lost and could never get back.


"Come on, Sam. Open up," Jason yelled while knocking on the door but there was no answer. He waited a few seconds. "Come on Sam."

"Go away." He heard Sam's voice coming from the other side of the door. The voice was sad and depressive, he knew Sam was crying. "It's not like you love me anyways."

"But I DO love you," he said.

"No you don't, if you did you would have fought for me." The sound of her voice was coming closer to the door, and Jason knew that she will finally open it. But she didn't. "Why do you think you love me."

The question was so hard to answer, there were some many answers. He loved everything about her, her smile, the smell of her hair, the way she laughed, everything. "I know I love you, and I can't turn away from you."

"No." He heard Sam's voice, "You love Courtney."

Jason knew Sam only said it to hurt him, and it was working. He had to set the record straight, "I saw Courtney today. We talked a little and I told her that I love you. If I loved her, why would I do that? You know I don't lie so why is it so hard for you to trust me."

"Just go away. Just, just leave." Sam said, her voice was in pain. Jason was starting to get a little worried about her.

"Just open up. I'm not leaving." He said. He waited a minute and started to leave. As soon as he turned around he heard the doors open up.

"Jason, wait." Sam said. Jason turned around to face her and noticed that she was pale, and in pain. She looked weak, like she was about to faint, "I just wanted to let you know that I love you." She said as she collapsed into his arms.

"Come on Sam. What happened to you?" he was worried and for the first time in his life, he was scared. He looked at her pale face and noticed that one of her arms was bloody, her wrist has been sliced. He quickly looked up and in the distance, he could see a bloody knife on her bed. He knew what she had done, and why.

---

"It's a miracle, Jason." Dr. Steven Webber said while standing outside Sam's room. "She didn't slice her wrist, she just sliced her skin so we have high hopes that she will be ok."

"Oh, that's good." Jason was relieved by the news, "When will she wake up."  
Steven frowned, like he was about to deliver some bad news, "There is a problem, however."

"What?" Jason was clearly upset, it was easy to see just how much he loved Sam.

"She overdosed herself on sleeping pills, which caused her to slip into a coma, and that might make it difficult for her to wake up."

"But I thought you said everything will be ok."

"I did." Steven wanted to bring a feeling of hope to Jason, "She can't get any worse right now, so we will give her a few days for the drugs to ware out and then we will try to see if her coma is improving."

Jason rubbed his forehead and thought for a minute, "Can I see her?"

"Yeah, sure." Steven said as he opened the door to Sam's room for Jason to walk in.

When Jason was inside he noticed how peaceful Sam looked. She was hooked up to all types of machines. Her left wrist was bandaged. Jason sat down on a chair that was by the bed.

"Come on, honey. You have to pull through." He said while picking up her right hand and kissing it. He didn't want her to be laying there. Jason realized that taking Hope away was a little too much for poor Samantha. "Come on. You can't leave me. You just can't."

Sam didn't move, she just laid there. Jason looked at the different screens of the different machines. "You can't die." he said.

Sam's heart rate was starting to slow down and it seemed like her soul was leaving her body. A new fear was taking over Jason. He walked out of the little room and yelled at the top of her lungs, "Somebody, help. There's something wrong with her."

---

"Where am I?" Sam asked as she looked at all the doctors in the hospital room. She stood up and started walking around. She looked at the doctors who were all working on her. Tears started falling from her eyes as she realized what was happening.

Sam walked out of the room. Jason was standing outside, praying to God to spare Sam's life. "I love you. But I have to leave." she said as she came closer to hug him, but realized that she can't. She wrapped her arms around Jason just to see that she ended up hugging herself. She was transparent and empty, like the wind.  
She magically appeared in Sonny's new house. Sonny was sitting on a red/orange couch with Carly by his side.

_"It will be ok." Carly said while placing her arms around Sonny's shoulders, "Sam's a fighter, she'll fight her way to survival."_

"I know," Sonny said looking down at something he was holding, "I can image what she was going through. Losing two babies in two months. But why? Why did she have to do this?"

"I don't know. I really don't know." Carly said.

"I was going to give this to Sam, on the birth date of her next baby." Sonny said while showing Carly a beautiful gold necklace with a large diamond on it. "It's really a locket." He said while opening the diamond to reveal that small photos could be paced inside, "I would have put the baby's pictures in there and give it to her as a gift, now she'll never get it."

Magically, Sam was gone again. She could see a bright light and then she found herself in Courtney's place.

_Courtney opened the door to let Bridget in._

"Hey, what's up?" Bridget asked.

"I have some bad news." Courtney said motioning Bridget to the couch.

"What's wrong?" Bridget was concerned, she sat down on the mellow couch and waited until Courtney sat down next to her.

"Sam tried to kill herself." Courtney finally burst it out. "Apparently she has been suffering from post pardon depression ever since the death of her baby. Now after losing baby Hope, she lost it."

"Oh my God. It's all my fault." Bridget said as tears were starting to form in her eyes, "I shouldn't have tried to take Hope away from her."

"No, Bridget. It's my fauld. I should have worked harder to convince you that Hope is better off with Sam." Courtney said, breaking down, "I was just so jealous that Sam had a baby when I didn't, I guess I wanted to take away the only think she had."

"You bitch." Bridget said while slapping Courtney. Sam approved of the gesture but she knew that Courtney's guilt was eating her up more then any slap ever could.

Sam magically disappeared again, and then she found herself walking on some golden stairs. Stairs leading up to heaven.  
"Don't leave." A feminine voice came out of nowhere. It sounded like it came from all directions, it was loud and had an echo to it.

"Why? Who are you?" Sam said as she started spinning around, searching for the invisible face.

"They need you." The voice said.

"Who?" Sam was still searching, "who needs me?"

"Danny needs you. Your brother doesn't even know what happened to you. You can't leave him, who will take care of him?"

"Jason will take care of him." She said while taking a few more steps towards heaven.

"Jason needs you. He has lost so much, he can't lose you too?"

"He's strong, he'll survive." She said bitterly once she finally realized what she has done to herself and to those around her. She could feel the warmth and the peace coming from heaven, she wanted to get there and never leave, she took a few more steps.

"I need you." The voice said. Sam could feel an echoing wind spinning around her, and then like magic, a woman appeared right in front of her.

"Who are you?" Sam asked the woman. The woman was about 20 years old, she had long black hair and deep blue eyes. She reminded Sam of herself.

"I'm your daughter." The woman said while touching Sam's flat stomach. "I wasn't supposed to be born to you and Sonny, so they made me die." She said pointing up, "And you weren't supposed to have Bridget's baby, so they took her away from you." The woman said looking down, then she looked Sam in the eyes, "You are supposed to have me with Jason and this time I'll survive. But if you die then I have to die too, please don't let me die." The woman said.

"When will I get you?" Sam asked.

"I'll already inside of you." The woman said.

Sam could feel tears forming in her eyes. She come closer to her grown daughter and hugged her. A warm breeze flew by and Sam saw that the woman was gone and Sam was holding a baby, her baby, the baby she and Jason made a week ago. Sam closed her eyes for a long moment and opened them again.

"Hey. You're awake." Sam could hear Jason say. She looked around and soon realized she was in the hospital, alive. 

"What happened?" She asked.

"You were in a coma. Your heart stopped beating for 3 seconds, you were gone and you came back." Jason said while caressing her hand.

Sam placed her other hand on her stomach and smiled. "I'm pregnant."

"What?" Jason was trying to understand if the suicide attempt messed with her mind a little, how could she possibly think she was pregnant while the doctors didn't say anything about it.

"I was in heaven and I saw her." Sam said looking at Jason, "I saw our daughter, I held her. She had your eyes and my hair."

Jason didn't say anything but he did believe her. Sam could feel that he believed her. Jason leaned in to kiss her but the door to the hospital room opened and Steven walked in.

"I'm glad to see you're awake." Steven said looking at Sam, then he looked at Jason, "I was going to tell you this alone, but since she woke up, I'll tell it to you both."

"Tell us what?" Sam asked.

Steven opened a manilla folder and looked at it for a second, then he looked at Jason and Sam. With a smile on his face, he said, "I'm surprised I haven't noticed this before, when we got the report that you were overdosed with pills." He paused building anticipation, "Well, I guess it's better late then never."

"What is it?" Sam asked urging him to get to the point.

"Miss McCall, You are pregnant. Mr. Morgan, you're going to be a father."

"Oh my God." Sam said and looked at Jason who was just as exited as she was.

"I'm going to be a daddy." Jason said while softly caressing her stomach. Then Jason leaned in and kissed her. "Congratulations, mother to be."

"What would you say if we name the baby Lila again?" Sam asked.

"Why Lila?"

"Because when I saw your daughter, she said that SHE wasn't supposed to be born to me and Sonny. She's the same soul, just has a different father."  
"In that case, I approve." Jason said giving Sam another long passionate kiss.

**THE END **


End file.
